Renaissance Pasta

My wife is one tough chick.  Need proof?  I had her out digging sprinkler trenches in the back yard once.  Yeah, I have pictures.  She was nine months pregnant at the time.

And she never sleeps.  Honest truth here--when our first child was born, she told me her contribution would be to get up and take care of the baby at night.  I never looked back.

Did I mention the homeschooling?  Four kids.  One room.  It's like an educational cage match.

And then . . . there's me.  Did I mention, I'm a Renaissance Man?  I know, I can hear it all now.  "Brad, you are about as enlightened as the closet in a darkroom."  Or, "Brad, you make Neaderthal look progressive . . . ."

To which I'd say, you've never seen my Mona Lisa, my 5th Symphony, and my David--all wrapped into one delicious dish--the Renaissance Pasta.  I can hear it all now.  "Brad, you dirty little devil!!  I didn't know you cooked!"  Yeah, I keep it under wraps.  See, I've got it pretty good.  I wouldn't want to upset the delicate balance of nature by breaking out my kitchen skills too often.  I said I was "enlightened," not "stupid."  And so, I present to you, Renaissance Pasta. 

Well, back to reality.  Not all of us can bake like Rebecca.  So if you can't . . . or just don't . . . then here's one for the rest of us.  And the funny thing is, the kids ate it!

Micah.  Really getting excited about it.  Yum yum, what's to come?

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Eli only looks scared.  He's actually too young to know any better.

My secret weapon.  They never knew what hit 'em.

Proof he never saw it coming.  See the glazed eyes?

Almost just like Momma's cooking.

I've reproduced my very scientific methods below.



Ingredients:
1 box pasta - any kind
1 can or jar of pasta sauce - any kind
1 tsp salt
Grated parmesan cheese

Things to have ready:
1 large strainer
2 hot pads
1 empty sink
1 barf bag (you never know, you might need it.  Probably not, though)

Directions:
Fill a medium sized pot about 3/4 up with water.  Salt water.  Boil.  Dump pasta in the bowl.  [if you are making spaghetti or linguini, break the pasta in half first].  Bring water back to low, rolling boil.  Cook for ten minutes or until pasta has desired softness (the longer you cook, the squishier it is.  Ewwww!!!!)

While cooking, clean your sink and place one large strainer in there.  Pay attention to the pasta so it doesn't boil over.  If it is bubbling up too much, lower the heat and blow over the pot to prevent boiling over.

Using hot pads, pull pot off burner.  Pour contents of pot into the large strainer in the sink.  Pour away from you to avoid getting a steam burn.  Shake strainer gently to get excess water out.  Pour pasta back into the pot, or into another bowl.

Mix a small amount of sauce into the pasta to prevent it from sticking together.

Bring to the table and serve.  Sauce individual plates to specifications.  Add grated parmesan cheese to taste.

So easy a caveman could do it.